madpoet

i hate that there are days ( like today) when i wake up and feel like i’m the only person on the planet who doesn’t have someone.  not neccessarily a partner someone but an anyone someone.  not all of my friends have significant others but they do have friends who call them & want to hang out.  the last time i approached friends to hang out, i got the unenthusiastic “yeah, that’d be great” line designed so that the person could say one thing but mean something entirely different.  there are only so many times that I can try to make plans with someone and get turned down before i start to feel like i’m annoying them and i should just take the hint and leave them alone.  so that’s what i’ve done.  unfortunately, it also means that i’m alone.  i guess it’s better to be alone than to be hanging out with people who aren’t really interested in seeing me.

all of this crap was brought on by the sex & the city movie.  i kept watching it (because i love those ladies) even though the whole time i was thinking “wow, i can’t think of three girlfriends who would drop everything for me if i needed them”.  i don’t know, maybe i need to think harder, but it really bummed me out.  now, here i am, feeling sorry for myself on my blog.  gee, i wonder why i’m not getting any phone calls…

and to come back to this life after being on vacation with my family and feeling so loved is just devastating.  next friday cannot come soon enough.  the drive will do me good, give me some time to think when i don’t have a million distractions to divert my attention.  hopefully, it’ll be good thinking.