ow
of all the betrayals i’ve dealt with, the worst is the betrayal of my own body. i give it good food, water and exercise and it seems to improve. then comes the backlash, which has me stiff & sore & unable to participate in daily life because everything – rest, exercise, breathing – makes it worse. i can’t even practice yoga because sitting up hurts too damn much. of course, the earliest appointment i could get from my doctor is still two weeks away. and what is my doctor going to be able to do for me? prescribe muscle relaxants or prescription strength pain killers? i don’t want to live my life on medication. i’m not-quite-33 years old. i should not feel like this. i should not have the same kinds of aches & pains that are most common among my grandmother’s age group. it’s finally impacting my life enough (every day) and i’m finally pissed off enough to do something more about it. like go see my doctor & ask about fibromyalgia. like figure out how the hell to get out from behind a desk and actually do something with myself. it might take a while – i’m moving pretty slowly these days – but i’ll do it.